I Need a New Attitude

      I am unappreciative of the things that I do have. I always feel like I need something more and when I do get more I am still unsatisfied. I thank God for what I do have. It is not his fault that I am not happy that fault lies with me. I take responsibility for my own actions and my own attitude. If God is pointing me in a direction to a better life and I refuse to walk down that path it is me to blame for my own life's condition.
     People do blame others for their unhappiness and they say it is all their fault. The truth is we let them take it away from us. We give them the power to make us happy or to make us sad. How they treat us is how we feel about our own lives. We are like people with outside switches attached to our bodies whenever somebody feels like hurting us all they have to do is to flick that accessible switch to make us feel sad or angry. They become our controller. You become the puppet and they your master.
     The new attitude that I need is taking control of my own life. It is saying to myself I am responsible to where I am headed and if I want to change I must take action and make the effort to change. My new attitude is no longer waiting around for somebody else to take charge. If I want something to happen then I will try to make it happen.
     In truth people are struggling with their own lives and trying to find their own way. I to must find my own way as they are trying to find theirs. I realize my anger is not at them it is at myself for not being more self-reliant. I do not need to be waiting on somebody else to make me happy but to find that happiness within myself and even to love myself in spite of everyone else. I am not going to wait around until everybody is happy and then live off the leftovers. I am going to have a giant scoop of it for myself. I am going to fill my life up with joy, happiness and love. I am going to live in peace and hope that others will to. I will always place my faith in God and ask him to keep guiding my way in finding that new attitude.

Lukewarm or Hot?

     What am I thinking and doing about my life? I hope and pray that I am doing enough to enter in God's kingdom. I have walked along the edge of the fence between good and evil for to long. Many are saying they wish the Lord would return very soon but I wonder are they really ready for his return. The Lord is merciful, kind and loving but on his return to Earth he is bring a sword of God's judgement with him. I even question myself, "Am I ready to meet the Lord?" I do want him to come however will I be received or to my dismay, will I be judged?
     In my mind I believe I will be received but I do not want to be in error on that final day. I rather face the hard truth about myself now than to face my Lord and be rejected. I do not want to be living a lie and deceiving myself. I want to live with the truth with my eyes wide open. I want to see myself how the Lord sees me. If I am doing something that will keep me out of his kingdom I want to know about it so that I can correct it and be accepted.
     So many are walking on the borderline, me included and here is what the Bible says what will happen to those who are walking on that line. In revelation chapter three verses fifteen and sixteen, "I know thy works, that thou art neither cold nor hot; I would thou wert cold or hot, So then because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spue thee out of my mouth." Those who walk the border will be rejected on judgement day. I have to commit to God and make up my mind totally and unswerving in serving him. No more little bit of the world and a little bit of serving God. It must be God over the world every time. I must put God first in everything that I do. God must know my devotion to him. I have to make my stand for God now.
     What made me think that I can get away with only doing token worship. One small coin out of my surplus is not enough. God demands a whole a lot more. Am I going to be counted worthy by slumbering my days away while others for God put their lives on the line? Throughout history men and women gave up their very lives in serving God. What they fought and die for, I to must fight and even be willing to die for.
     Satan and a third of the angels that fell from heaven is still among us and there still is so much work to be done. Slumbering is not an option, it is a surrendering to evil. I must put myself in the front lines of battle, no matter what hardships I will face. I must carry a banner for God all the way to victory. I want God to see and all the angels of heaven that I am a loyal and unquestionably a servant of the Lord Jesus Christ.
     Awake my soul to the condition of my life. Look through the eyes of our Lord and know the truth. From this day forward slumber no more. Take up the sword of the truth and the large shield of faith and run to the battlements and make your stand for God. Dig in deep and do not let Satan advance no longer. Push back the evil upon the our Earth and make room for our Lord.
     Let him see me doing good works on the day of his arrival. In so doing there will not be any question on who side I am on. No more walking along the border but standing squarely in the territory of our Lord. No more being lukewarm neither here nor there but being hot on the side of God. I want to do what is right and no longer doing what is wrong. I want the Lord to know that I love him and want to be with him in his kingdom.

A Child's Understanding

     I have often asked God why can I not do this or that. I point out to God that our society and most of the people today practice certain sins and I asked why do you keep us, today Christians restricted. Why not give us a little bit more freedom. I then remembered why we are called children of God. He is our Father and does not a father or mother sometimes say no to their children, especially those who are about to hurt themselves.
     A small child does not sometimes understand the action of their parent when they say no. The child will cry and scream because it cannot get it's way. It believes the parent is being mean. However the child does not understand the parent is protecting him from harm or teaching him the right way to behave. The parent's action may appear to the child as cruel and restrictive but in reality those actions are beneficial and life sustaining. The parent is showing love to the child not cruelty. In a like manner our heavenly Father is saying no to us out of his love for us. He wants us also to live and not to die. His word said that the wages of sin is death and not life.
     Our Father wants us to know that sin equals death. He wants us to love him not to hate him when he saids no to us. Even if he did give us an explanation and told us exactly why, would we being his small children understand? Would a small child of ours understand if we were to carefully explain our actions? It depends on the age of the child or his maturity. If the child is to young then he will not understand why the parent is saying no. How are we to understand our God whose age, knowledge and wisdom is limitless. It also depends upon our maturity, our spiritual maturity.
     Many of us, me included still do not understand all the ways of God. Sometimes we just have to believe by faith and not by understanding alone. Even if we still cry and scream for not getting our way we need to still remember our Father's love for us. He wants us to healthy and happy. He is our creator and he knows what is best for us. Even if I do not always understand him I will always show honor and respect to him. We need to be patience with him as he is with us, for the day of our maturity will come and so will our understanding.          

I have a Picture

     I have a picture within my head of God's future kingdom. Its a picture of a land flowing with milk and honey. A picture of men and women living in peace and having hearts filled with love. A picture of a world working together to make our lives much better. A world filled with a kinder people, a gentler people, a people who show God's love between themselves.
     I carry that picture wherever I go. I hope to find it existing somewhere and seeing it take hold and grow; But for now the picture is still within my mine and I pray that it is in the mines of others as well.
     I cannot let my mine settle for anything less when I know there is so much more our world could be doing. I have a choice and I choose the best picture we can have today and for all of our tomorrows.

Where are Your People Lord?

     I have asked this question of the Lord many times in prayer. Where are your people Lord? The Lord did not answer me right away or maybe I could not understand the answer. It was only when I got close to some people that then I truly understood where his people are. They were not in some faraway place or hidden away in some secret location. To my surprise they were all the time standing right in front of me.
     What I saw as a stranger to people and not as their friend was a mask that they were wearing. A mask that reflected the world instead of their true selfs. Some people are afraid to let down their guard for fear of being hurt. They put on a hard veneer in order to deflect any blows that might come their way. I could not see them as they truly are because of that protective personality that they were showing me. They put a shield over their true personality because of their fear of rejection.
     I thank God for having the opportunity to see past the mask on a few occasions. I saw people as they truly were. They are not so hard as they pretend to be. I saw people who are afraid and confused. I saw people who are lonely and are hurting inside. I saw people who were not so different from me. The only difference was that they have gotten use to wearing the mask and I wanted to throw mine away. I want to be myself all the time and be that person that God wants me to be. A person who is not afraid of what others might say. I want to be a person who is happy and comfortable with his own existence.
     I did lay down my mask and took a chance to reach out to people and (to my surprise) they in turn reached out to me. I then saw clearly the answer to my question. Where are your people Lord? They were always there, hiding behind their masks and standing right next to me.

What I am Afraid of

     What I am afraid of that gives me cold chills at night and in the day. It is looking in the orchard of our Lord and not finding one ripe fruit left upon a branch. I shiver at the thought of our Lord's return and I am standing in an empty orchard.
     Lord have mercy upon my soul and let me see the ripe fruit that are still left upon the branches. Let me help in someway in keeping the fruit upon the branches and save me from my fears and worries.
     I see the devil with a stone as large as a boulder and he hurls the stone at a large tree representing God's people. With all his might he throws the stone at the tree. It is a large stone representing immorality and greed. With the might of the stone he brings down the ripe fruit of God's people. When the tree is hit with the stone it rains down fruit upon the Earth and once the fruit is upon the ground a rot of corruption sets in.
     To many times I have seen those who once was on fire for God cool off and become seduced by the world. They who was once servants of God become instruments for Satan. They were once ripe fruit upon the tree but were shaken to the ground by the stone thrown by the devil. Innocent and pure were they to God but now stand unclean and blemished before his throne. I have seen many come to God and many walk away.
     I know by the words of God I will not be standing alone when our Lord returns but I still have the fear of it. When I see many leaving the ways of God, I fear that the orchard might have become barren. I want to reach up and hold the fruit on with my bare hands but I cannot keep the fruit on if it has already disconnected from the branch. Everyone of us has to make a choice whether to stay on or to fall off. I choose to stay on however I would like to have some others to stay on with me.

Honoring the Image of God

     The image of God is who we are. We have a reflection of him within. Runaway and hide from him we cannot do for we carry apart of him with us. Respect to that image and honor for it, for out of innocents it was born. Tainted not by the world but made pure by God's spirit, each of us at birth a perfect image.
     I cannot harm that image of God without doing harm to my soul. It was never meant to suffer or to be in pain. It was never meant to bleed or to die. The image of God was meant to be perfect and to last forever but the devil is having his way. He is rolling that image through the mire and the filth. He is enjoying in doing harm to it in every way. For not with honor, nor with respect will he give to it. Out of his disgust he will trample upon it with his hate. He demeans it and humiliates it and makes it bow before him. The image of God he does not want to see. He wants to see an image reflecting himself.
     I believe the blessed image of God will always stay and become even more brighter everyday. No devil can permanently dim his image or make it go away. We the image of God will overcome and be what we were meant to be. I believe a new world lies ahead of us filled with the image of his love. Bright as the sun and all the stars in heaven our spirits will be. We are the image of God and no one can take that away.

My Desperate Need to Build a New Fire within My Soul

     The fires that I feed are the ones that burn inside of me. How were they lit in the first place and why do I keep feeding them the fuel that keeps them burning? I believe it was because I did not realize I am the one that kept these mental fires going. I know now that I need a new fire in my life and to let these other useless fires burnout. Why waste so much of my time on something that is hurting me?
     There are many sparks out there like fire flies that try to keep these old fires burning but all they are doing is burning me out. Not uplifting me, not helping me but only giving me more fuel to burn. Why burn without a cause or a reason but to be only someone else's fire? They may feel they need my heat to keep them warm. It may warm them but it does not warm me. The heat within is devouring my soul. It has weakened me inside.
     A stupid man I have been for just being another log upon the fire. I may not have total control on what comes in but I do have control over what comes out. I will not give another satisfaction at my own expense. I will take control and try to put the old fires out. I will try to build new fires and find the fuel that is needed for them to burn. A hard task this may prove to be but I know somehow that it is not impossible.

A Heartfelt Wish

     I want to wish the Japanese people well in their recovery. Many lives were lost and many lost everything in this disaster. I feel for their lost and their pain.

In Just Living

     From our basic understanding and from our experiences the truth can be known. If something burns our fingers we know there is danger and to stay away. It is the same way we can tell if someone is bad by their harm that they bring upon us or to others. From our experience we come to know what is bad for us and what is good. Even though we are taught certain things from birth we can still see through the lies and find the truth. In just living we can come to know our world.
     In just living we will come to know the loving ones and the cruel ones. We will see those who are succeeding and those who are failing; those who are hiding something and those who have nothing to hide. In our mind we will see the distinction between good and evil. In just living we come to know that which is helpful to our survival and that which is trying to destroy us. We will come to see the beauty in our world and also the ugliness within it. We will see there are many different kinds of people and that a particular race is not a definition of good or evil. In just living we can come to know how to better our lives.

The Way I Feel

    I cannot guess or predict what tomorrow will bring but I can only hope it will be better. Even though I am only a drop in the ocean of life I can say that this drop loves God. Whether or not I am remembered or forgotten does not matter to me. What does matter to me is my relationship with God. If I am loved by him and respected I can say I have done well. As long as I am with God I am happy.
     I believe his people are scattered like seeds to the wind. They were planted by his own hands in every nation so that everyone will come to know him. They live as sheep among the wolfs. Trying their best to live a Christian life and make a difference. They are vessels beaten upon by the raging seas. Vessels that are used by God and loved by him. These people are God's people and he will never leave them. They are his people forever. They will be with God as long as God shall live.

Let Me Be Me

     Let me have a chance to express myself, so to let my spirit soar above the trees. Clip not my wings or tie up my legs but let me be me. I must soar like an eagle and fly like a dove so to feel free. Bind me down not with your judgement nor weigh me down with your guilt. If there is judgement it is your judgement and if there is guilt it is yours as well for I cannot be made to feel guilty for just being me.
     If the lion still strikes and the leopard pounces and the blood pours out of me. I will die as myself and not as someone wants me to be. Stones maybe thrown and hammers may come down upon me but I will not give in and become a broken man. It is better to live a short time as yourself then to live a lifetime a lie. Hardships I may have to face and crushed I may become but no one will take my identity away. I will be free in spite of it all and be just me.

Survival of the Fittest?

     Survival of the fittest is what I hear from some people. They lived their lives by it but I was not aware we were living in a jungle and living by the laws of animals and beasts. I thought we were humans living under a higher law of humanity. Perhaps I have been mistaken and the nature of the beast controls over us. Because of my non-compliance to the laws of the jungle I have been made a stranger and even an outcast to those who live by them.
     It is so easy to hurt others in the jungle if you view your life that way. You look at others like an enemy, someone to manipulate and take advantage of. Everyone around you maybe except your family are objects that get in your way. You make the law of the beast into the law of men. You cast away all that we are and you hinder all that we can be. You do things only for yourself and do not consider anybody else at all.
     You do not care if people are suffering or even if you are causing that suffering as long as you are not the one suffering. Beast are to the right and left of you. Beast are all around you. In the jungle is where your mind is fighting for your survival.
     As for me, I see no jungle but only in the minds of those who hurt others for their own advantage. In my eyes, I see a world filled with people with a heart and feelings just like me. I see us not living in a jungle but living upon a world that was created by a loving God.
     I do care what happens to you, to me and to our world. It matters to me when people hurt. It matters to me when they cry out for help. I can hear and see their pain. My eyes are not closed and my heart is still soft enough to feel. A heart that can no longer feel is indeed dead.
    We who live upon this planet are not beast but human beings with a kind and loving heart. Only by choice you have close yourself off to others and took up a defensive stand against them. Only by choice you decided not to stand like a human being but to crawl around like a beast, ripping and tearing at your brothers and sisters.
     I believe those with a survival mind set can change. They just need to soften their hearts just a little and to put down the defenses that they put against us. They need to take a long hard look at those that are around them and see that they are not their enemies at all.
     We are not beasts but human beings. Jesus Christ loved us all enough to die for us, can we not find enough love within our hearts to be kind to one another, to treat each other with a certain amount of respect and human dignity.

The Age of the Prodigal Son

     If Adam and Eve would have stayed in paradise everything would be alright. However out the gate he and Eve went into the thrones and thistles upon our world. They gave up all that they had for what they did not possess. Believing in what God had forbid was good to eat. They doubted the word of God and believed in the lie that the devil told. The lie took them down a road to sin and death.
     The prodigal son like Eve desired the forbidden fruit. He left his paradise, his home and went into a foreign land after it. There he ate his fill. However like the forbidden fruit of Eden it soured his stomach and brought him down into a spiritual death. What he thought he wanted he did not want nor even need. The lie was at work within his mind pushing him down the same road to sin and death. He finally walked away from the lie and found his happiness, when he returned home. Adam and Eve could not return to their home in paradise but they knew there lied the truth and their happiness.
     This is the age of the prodigal son. Where people are still believing in the lie and looking else where for their happiness. The bread of life is from God and so is the truth. A day will come when we will get tired of following the lie. Our eyes will open and we will see the truth. Then we will finally return to our Father, our true home. There we will find our happiness and our peace.