Diminishing Myself Before God

     I feel ashamed of myself. I turned away from God. I walked in front of him instead of behind him. I made myself more than I am. In my heart I have secretly whispered listen to me as if I was the messiah.
     Every time I stand in a lofty position I fall. Every time I race ahead I stumble. In a haughty manner I condemn and in the same way I bless. I state my views and opinions as if it were God's command. God help me, I have lost my way. I am just a small man upon this Earth. What I think, say or do is very small compared to God.
     My heart is not as big as God's heart. What I cannot forgive he can. Where I lack in love he has abundance. Even if my love has limits he is beyond those limits. He can reach his hand into the deepest darkest pit in hell and rescue a lost soul. God knows our hearts, soul and spirit. When we are ready to come to him he will be there waiting.
    God understands the universe and I understand very little. Where I can see chaos, he can see order. Where I see disaster, he may see renewal. What God can see and understand is beyond my comprehension. If I am to stand before him, I must learn how to bow before him. I must always be humble before my God.
     I do not want to hurt or demean anyone, by my words or deeds. I wish to only reflect God's spirit and to do his will. It is so easy to hurt and not so easy to show love. That is why I must carefully examine my heart and intentions. I want to be a good christian and not an injurious man. I want my eyes always to be focus upon God's kingdom and my heart close to God. I do not wish to stray but to stand firm in his favor. My God has done much for me and I want to return that love.
     I want to tell everyone to be peaceable because peace seems to leave our hearts and minds so easily. Have faith in God for he is working so hard in our behalf. He is moving mountains so that we can have a new world and a new place to live. He is telling the army of heaven to stand ready. He is crowning his son with power and glory. He is making all things new again. There is so much going on that we do not see or understand.
    I have got so caught up in my own little world that my sight has become so narrow. All of heaven and Earth lies before me and I can barely see. How can I stand or speak before anyone if I am stumbling over my own two feet. I must learn to walk again and to see again and to speak again. I will always stand before God as his student and his child to do otherwise would bring dishonor to myself and to God. He is my master not I. I will keep on praying to God to give me enough humility to understand and to learn.